But gosh darn, I'm not too fussed at the moment.
Yes, I have no job, My straighteners are held together with sellotape and left over foil from a chocolate coin, my tan has well and truly faded from summer, and that three pound I lost, has magicked back onto my hips.
But...
Hah! I have so much more opportunity to try out stuff. I have been searching and applying for jobs, some I haven't much interest in, some purely just for money's sake and a couple which I'd be really interested in doing.
I have time to Blog, Bake, read, lounge about... all I need is a never ending income and I'd be in my element.
Right now, I'm going to go back to drinking my tea, checking my emails every 30 seconds and paint my nails.
Monday, 9 January 2012
Tuesday, 3 January 2012
Dear 2012...
For last year's words belong to last year's language and next year's words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning..
I've been trying to write the first post of the year, well, since the new year. I cant.... I don't know why. I have no words for the new year yet. No. I have words. But they're stuck.
My blog, I guess has taken on a few different forms, intellectual rants, book reveiws, blow by blow accounts of days I dont want to, or really want to forget. ponderings, musing, questions for myself, answered by myself.
People have been writing about their new years resolutions, even anti-resolutions, I dont know where I stand with them, really I dont.
There's the givens, the ones everyone secretly promises themselves, to get off their bums, to eat healthy, to live life to the full; the soul destroying deadlines, the selfless, the meaningful... but how many people live up to their resolutions?
each year, at Christmas, I go to midnight mass, each year I feel guilty that I have barely stepped foot in church aside from that one bewitching hour in the last 365 days. Each time I go to church I feel comforted, peaceful, full of resolutions, to go to church, to pray more, and yes those cliches about being healthy and working out more, and then... I remember, I don't actually know what I believe in and there's also the guilt that, If I did believe in God, 100% and everything that christianity preaches, then I wouldn't be the best christian.
I've slept with men I don't know, Had one night stands, drunk too much, danced like a hoochie, I agreed to marry someone when I wasn't sure, I've used people for sex, I get frustrated at some people who call themselves christian and I doubt their faith, I aborted a baby, I've judged people, I waste money on material things, I've made people feel belittled, I don't give money to charity, I don't defend christianity when it is the religion I was baptised into...
I don't know what this means, or why I'm writing it, but I feel it needs to get out of my system before my new year can really begin. Maybe if I get them out of the way now, things will come together.
Sometimes I wish I had more faith. In a God. In myself.
A new year, New words, New beginnings. Love and wishes to you all x
new year new blog perhaps?
I've been trying to write the first post of the year, well, since the new year. I cant.... I don't know why. I have no words for the new year yet. No. I have words. But they're stuck.
My blog, I guess has taken on a few different forms, intellectual rants, book reveiws, blow by blow accounts of days I dont want to, or really want to forget. ponderings, musing, questions for myself, answered by myself.
People have been writing about their new years resolutions, even anti-resolutions, I dont know where I stand with them, really I dont.
There's the givens, the ones everyone secretly promises themselves, to get off their bums, to eat healthy, to live life to the full; the soul destroying deadlines, the selfless, the meaningful... but how many people live up to their resolutions?
each year, at Christmas, I go to midnight mass, each year I feel guilty that I have barely stepped foot in church aside from that one bewitching hour in the last 365 days. Each time I go to church I feel comforted, peaceful, full of resolutions, to go to church, to pray more, and yes those cliches about being healthy and working out more, and then... I remember, I don't actually know what I believe in and there's also the guilt that, If I did believe in God, 100% and everything that christianity preaches, then I wouldn't be the best christian.
I've slept with men I don't know, Had one night stands, drunk too much, danced like a hoochie, I agreed to marry someone when I wasn't sure, I've used people for sex, I get frustrated at some people who call themselves christian and I doubt their faith, I aborted a baby, I've judged people, I waste money on material things, I've made people feel belittled, I don't give money to charity, I don't defend christianity when it is the religion I was baptised into...
I don't know what this means, or why I'm writing it, but I feel it needs to get out of my system before my new year can really begin. Maybe if I get them out of the way now, things will come together.
Sometimes I wish I had more faith. In a God. In myself.
A new year, New words, New beginnings. Love and wishes to you all x
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