Back in from the cold!

I'm back, from a really chilled out two weeks in Grindelwald, Bern, Switzerland. Chilled out in many senses of the word!

It was work, which I shall get onto, however I was thinking on my 17 year long journey home from the airport yesterday, I can't think of one moment when I was stressed or angry or annoyed. Happy days! 

While I've been away I took a couple of books with me, one is called 'Destructive emotions and how to overcome them'. Sounds like a self help book, it isnt. It's a narration of one of a series of incredible sounding seminars between the Dalai Lama and loads of scientists, physiologists, phsycologists theorists written up by Daniel Goleman, I've already raved about one of his other books, emotional intelligence in one of my other posts. 

It's a good read, really interesting and I am seriously considering buddism or at least a bit of meditation. I took it to babysitting one night while I was away, the parents came back, and theyre always quite surprised to find you reading instead of slobbed out in front of the telly or on the laptop, but the parents came in, I was sat with this book in my hand about destructive emotions, with my goofy reading look on and wearing my uniform which makes me look really butch and slightly like a lesbian. Well they looked a bit like they were thinking, 'shit, who have we left our kids with? a phsyco bitch? I hope that books working' Funny. 

young love

So yes, Grindelwald is beautiful. I've been working with a 'luxury family holiday operator', which are painfully expensive and exclusive, as a creche assistant, which entailed working with another lady looking after the grand total of...... 3 children in creche, and taking one out to ski lessons every morning, then babysitting every night. it's not a bad job, with us we had 3 people in charge of the older kids and 4 ski guides in charge of the bigger kids (i.e. adults). I'd definatly say I had the least demanding job of all being in the creche. but I'm not going to complain. 

I took to my skis for the first time a few days after we flew out and didnt have much chance after that. I got really frustrated with myself, how hard is it to learn how to move differently? I kept on and on, side stepping up the littlest hill and whizzing down again and I. Just. Didnt. Get. IT. 

until I did, after 5 hours and the help of one of the local ski instructors (a friend of a girl we were working with) who was an actual godsend and taught us on her day off. so then I snow ploughed the life out of that tiny hill and finally worked up the courage to go on the tiny magic carpet up and do a little bit of a run a bumpy bit. it was great fun, I can't wait to get some more ski time. However I am desperate to try snow boarding, it looks so much cooler. 

I have so many things I want to blog, but if at all possible I'm even less organised than normal and I have a suitcase full of washing and bed room that needs tidying, mail to open and all the other things your supposed to do as a sensible adult who's just back from a trip away.

I shall return soon and regale you with stories of love, lust, adventure and humorous stories, or I may just blog some more... 

x

And a special mention to my beautiful, amazing friends who created this amazing cake as a welcome home present! If I could cry, I would have. made my day.

I needed to write this.

Frikkin internet is down so I’m blogging

I don’t mean it like, oh, theres nothing else to do.... this is what I mean;

I’ve just made a decision, I’m going back to UNI. I miss it. I actually feel a little bit empty without it. A bit like when you know you’ve not packed a toothbrush when your going away, or you have a sneaking suspicion that somthing isn’t right.

I know it.

Maybe I was a bit foolish not going this September as planned, but hey ho. If I had I wouldn’t be feeling this urge, I need to go back.

I think the time has given me the opportunity to set myself up right. So what, I have perhaps from one perspective wasted a little bit of time, but hey, what’s a year? I’ve been reading, I’ve been thinking, reflecting, and jesus, I feel like I could go and write three whole essays on anything and everything.

This could be linked to the effort I’ve made tonight, treated myself. I’ve been for the first run in about a year (and after putting on about a stone since my last) and then swam and then, I did a face mask and read. I feel GOOOOOOD.

So I’m a bit frustrated because I the internet isn’t enabling my begging emails to Ms Torrence and also to the boss so that I can leave next season early. I just want to DO. SOMETHING. I’m at a very uncertain point right now and to know that I have made at least one decision about the not to distant future is great, but I want to act on it. I shall just have to wait. And read.

So my current book, which I LOVE (!) is Emotional Intelligence: why it can matter more than IQ (by Daniel Groleman (I keep going to write Dave Grohl, ha)

The two chapters so far that have really... Moved (?) me are Mind and Medicine and The Family Crucible. The first one, really relates to my feelings toward the work I did with the hospital and with the mental health service, or really the work I wanted to do I suppose.

 It’s like he’s written my mind for me, aside from the actual scientific stuff that I would never have discovered. He describes and proves the link between emotions and the Immune system, the impact our emotions have on health and then the impact emotions have on recovery from ill health.

One bit that I find soo scary, but really interesting, is the possibility of Anger and hostility causing heart disease leading to heart attacks. Woah. How many kids do we see who are hostile and angry (with just cause) in youth work. Obviously they need help to sort out whatever is going on with them, but just think how important it actually is, to help them work through their anger and deal with it.

Then in the family chapter, I feel a bit sad (and maybe if some of my family read this they may dislike what I’m going to talk about, but hey, it’s my blog)

I won’t go through what it talks about but I had to put the book down, I was just thinking.... S**T, the boys are actually going to be really affected by this, and they totally are, you can see it. Not just because of the obvious break up and stress, but because of the emotional issues and then the pressure on them to live up to the male stereo type. (If you are reading this, beware, I am not judging, I have never attempted to bring up a child and I am never, will never lecture you on how you should bring up yours)

[Earlier in the book, I was comparing myself to the people they describe as having no emotion = Zero empathy = psychopath (it doesn’t read exactly like that...) and I got a bit worried, because I find it difficult to show emotion. I’m not worried now though, I totally want to cry]

So yeah.

I love my book.

I want to go back to study sooner than I expected.

I think I only want to do it part time.

I still don’t have a job when I get home.

But today has been a good day.

Totally just finished my first season.

x