3031 veiws! yeah baby!

Ducking hell, I cant believe how many people read this!

Now just before you start rolling your eyes, I'm not doing this to be popular/get as many veiws as possible or become famous etc etc, I just write my blog because... I do. But yay!

I wrote My first Post in February of this year, so thats, what, almost 10 months ago, in some ways, I've grown in those ten months, in some ways I'm still the same. It also means I've been single for 10 months, as when I started blogging, I'd made alot of big decisions, decided to quit my job, to work abroad, to put an end to my long term relationship, to find myself again (as cheesy as that sounds) and to live more.

so now I'm making decisions again.

I just wanted to Thank YOU for reading my blog so far, and by YOU I mean family, friends, fellow bloggers and those people who have stumbled across my blog while searching for things like....

• being accident prone
  
• is my brain shrinking?
  
• rule number 23
  
• a sneaky wee
  
• pig bellies
  
• can I give myself whiplash?
  
• My mind is complicated

Honest to god, these are how some people have come across day dreams from feef, I dont know wehter that says more about my writing, or how random people are...

Love you lots,

New posts coming soon :-D

Quiche me quick!

Yum, just made some pastry ready for mini quiche's ala BS and home made meat (and fake meat) pies for our tea.

I've spent alot of the morning salivating over a new pair of boots, which I NEEEED, well I dont. and the only time I would buy would be if I get a ski job over the Feb holidays. here they are..... YUM

and then, still dreaming of my wellies, I painted three sets of nails, M's, L's and my own, Mine and M's match, and L's has probably come off by now. I think I now know why men dont really wear nail varnish. I'll put money on the fact that men would love to have sparkly different coloured nails, but they just dont have the patience for them to dry!

Poor things. I think BS thinks I'm a bit vain, I've painted my nails nearly every day. I think wearing a uniform (yes, i know it's only black trousers and white top) does that to me, ack, I cant be doing with it, I need my induviduality, so therefore, I change my teeny tiny stumpy nails. (which I HAVE to stop biting)

Also.... I keep ageing myself prematurely, by that I dont mean painting wrinkles on my face and wearing granny clothes (debatable sometimes actually) but I keep on thinking I'm older than I am, aside from when I'm with the kiddies, in which case I run around like a 12 year old on speed. sometimes I'm like, oooooh god I'm gettin old, I should grow and start being serious, then other times I am a complete child/teenager and dont want to do F all.

I'm still debating what to do this year, Cyprus with the kids club, Charity volunteering abroad or stay in the UK and find a proper job??  hmph.

Annnnnnnyway, back to dinner, oh and I'm going to have to try my hand at making Vanilla and Black pepper ice cream, I tried it once, wow, love it. BS isnt liking the sound of it, but It'll be lovely :-D

Ciao x

playdough, micheal buble, chocolate brioche, blue hands....

and THAT is all before 12 o clock :-)

Frikkin Micheal buble, my future husband, is amazing, although he is blatantly settled in his relationship now, you can see it in his puffy cheeks. damn her! (the wife that is)

We were supposed to watch it last night, but yet again, I fell asleep by stupid o'clock (i.e. half 9!)

I keep telling L and M that it's their uncle michael, Oh dear, that's a little obsessive isnt it....

my other obsession which has become apparent of late, is hats. I've always liked them.... but the cold weather is the perrrrrfect excuse to wear (and buy) them. it could be worse I guess, I could be obsessed with handbags, or shoes, which I love too, but their more expensive AND they take up loads more space. I think it started last year with a little sequinned beret which I got for christmas, but i do have a weird little collection, a straw hat from Gambia which my friend brought back for me, a pint of guiness, i've had a fair few trilby's, ski hats (though i'm yet to go skiing, damnit) bobble hats, those hats with the ear flaps....

Any way, with all the fun i'm having, the one bad thing about Grantham is that there seem to be a missing vital ingredient to any town, good looking men.

Helloooooo? where the frik are you all hiding?

7 days to go!

What a fab day I've had today (Saturday) :-)

Firstly, oh my, very much appreciated being woken up after a lie in, with a lovely hot mug of tea, Thankyou very much BS!

Today we went on a road trip, BS had an accident in her car the other day, nearly flipped in over after sliding on some black ice, she wasn't hurt thank god but wrote her car off and has been super stressed with dealing with the insurance and sorting out a car for work. So today we went to find a new car, done deal. very proud of her bargaining techniques also! money off, new tyres, promises of a full valet and touch up on the paint work, get in there!

We also went for a bit of shopping I totally shouldn't go shopping anymore. i'm an addict. and had a macdonalds, I got a new hat (pictures above) and a teeshirt, and then little bits of fun for L and M's xmas. I also accidentally bought some dolmades (stuffed vine leaves) and baklava (pastries with honey and nuts) off the christmas market.

And now, the kids are on their way to bed, I dont have work and BS and I are going to stuff ourselves full of chocolate cake, do a bit of tidying up and watch a film/do the wii.

(in reality, both me and BS had cake, a whole big chunk of brie and crackers between us as fell asleep watching the Kings Speech before 10pm, hardcore!)

9 more sleeps till christmas!

I thought I'd share this with you :-)

As well as finding novelty christmas videos, blogging and watching cartoons with the little man, there's lots more to do....
I've got stories to write and illustrate (ooh that sounds proffessional!)

Presents to buy and wrap,

a job to find (for the new year)

and I want to organise some overseas volunteering stuff for 2012.

Ooh and I've been set a challenge for xmas day, I've to decorate the table and make napkin swans, easy enough, I've got the swan thing down to a T, I just need to find a way of keeping them stood up when I make them with the cloth napkins, lots of starch I think. I've also learnt some triangle pyramiddy ones and some crown shaped ones too.

Simple things please simple minds, as they say.

Also thankyou for reading this, I had 18 veiws of my pleading message since I wrote it last night, so now I need   less than a hundred and I've reached my goal of 3000!

And after my 3000th view I shall do a superly special blog post.

Watch this space :-)

A quick note....

OK, so there's one thing I want to achieve before the new year.

I started my blog in February of this year, and I'd reaaaaally like to reach 3000 views on my blog.

So, I will write every day before the new year, that's 18 posts, if YOU read every post that I write each day then that is 18 veiws, I need 119, so ten people is all I need!

Loves!

Love children, couldn't eat a whole one though

The above statement is almost entirely true. I do very much love most children, but I couldn't even eat a tiny bit of one, that would be both disgusting and cruel.

I am loving spending so much time with L and M (my neice and nephew) and big sis. it's lovely, I'm part of their routine at the moment. Each morning, me and BS are usually bombarded with the kids at about half 6, then somehow breakfast gets made, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday I take M to school and L goes with BS to nursery, then I pick him up again at 1 and we chill out till BS brings M home from school and usually theres a mad rush for dinner before I go to work. Thursday and Friday it's been just me and the little dude, usually making a mess, sticking, playing cars and generally getting into trouble. Tommorow for instance is Duvet and DVD day.

Did I tell you I got a job? I'm back to waitressing, which I haven't done since I was 18 and working in the pub. It's hard work, very physical, running back and fore with plates piled up or lined up 3 along your arm at once... I've been there since the week I came here, whats that, three weeks now? gosh, time fly's! It's going ok, I've not f**ked up too much, and i'm getting into the swing of things. I have to keep telling myself to keep thinking of the money.

So back to the kids, They are super super cute, and clever and funny. for the most part I think they like having me around, although me and the boy don't get on until past 10am, I don't know what it is, he just doesn't like me until then, though once you've got your head around it, it works out OK.

BS keeps trying to hire me out as a children's entertainer or something, (I say keeps, she's mentioned it like twice) The kids think I'm nuts, dancing and singing and skipping to school, poor little mites, a trip to or from school is not just a trip to and from school with Aunty 'nona, it's a language lesson, dance party, treasure hunt olympic games, singalong extravenganza!

It's awesome to be around kids at christmas time too, we had a super time the other night putting all the decorations up

We've been for breakfast with santa and his raindeer,

fed the ducks,

and I've watched exquisite performances of two plays,

Children of the world

and, Whoops a daisy angel.

Merry Christmas! (almost)

I went to the UN once...

I don't mean to gloat or anything, but I frikkin love my bucket list, not just because I'm thinking and researching things I want to experience but I'm looking at other people's lists and thinking, I actually have had quite a privaledged life.

One of the coolest places I've been is the Palace of Nations, home of the United Nations office in Geneva. oh my days,

So excited

This Giant broken chair symbolises the damage caused by minefields and was originally erected during the signing of the Ottowa treaty, aimed at eradicating all minefields and preventing the use of land mines.

Me in the room where they drafted the United Nations Convention of Rights to the  Child

It was an interesting tour, I would have liked to stay longer and take my time, absorb more of the info and things, still, mebbe I can go again some day, for work?

A bucket list, of sorts

I just found a website that hosts bucket lists.

I've never thought of doing one before, I'm always making to do lists, in fact I used to have a book of them on my desk at work to tick off during the day (or move onto the next day's sheet, which is what usually happened)

you can also look at other people's lists too, for inspiration.

In preparation of writing my list of things to do before I kick the bucket, I want to look at some of the exciting things I've done already, which I forget about so often.


See the Pyramids and tombs in Egypt.

 I went with my Nan to Giza for the pyramids, The first glimpse we saw of them were through a gap in the shops and houses (one of which was a pizza hut !), We went for a camel ride too, which took us quite near them, but it was an unbeatable veiw to be stood at the foot of the biggest one, looking up at to the point, their so impressive. Then the next year I saw the valley of the kings and went down into some of the tombs with the most amazing hyroglyphs.


Ride in a Hot Air Balloon

I did this in Egypt too, with Andy, this is when he proposed. The trip was magical, we got up at 5am and travelled by boat across the Nile in the dark and then in a mini bus to a clearing where 5 or 6 balloons were being inflated at once, by the time we got in the air the sun was just peeking over the hills and lit up the valley of the kings, we floated over fields, animals, and even houses where the people were sleeping on the roof and then we landed in a corn field and had a little party with music and dancing. it was lovely.

Perform in the Royal Albert Hall.

My big sister and I actually did this, I must have been about 5 and Wendy would have been 10, we were in the girls brigade and took part in a drill routine (like marching). Mum has a picture of us somewhere, taken while we were performing, theres me stood with the others, the only one with my long white socks, one pulled up to my knee and the other bunched around my ankle. 


Go Mountain biking, on an actual mountain

Greece 2008 with the Duke of Edinburgh group. A MAZE ING. Changed my life. 

Mount Parnithia, Evia Island, the acropolis, A whistling village....


Learn a Language.

Now I'm not saying I'm good but last year I completed my level one certificate in British sign Language.

Sex outdoors.

The things people have put on their lists are a bit more specific than just outdoors, but my mum reads this so I wont elaborate too much. although I will say, contrary to popular belief it's not actually illegal in the UK until someone complains.

Break the Law.

No, it wasn't by being caught doing the above ^

It was to do with driving, and I didn't get caught. 

Go Paragliding

Portugal 2009! I thought we'd go hurtling through the air but it is what it says, gliding, ah it's fab. 


Get a piercing

I did get a piercing, which wasn't my ears, but I took it out because a certain person didn't like it. Doh.


.....................................................................................................................

There's so much more I want to do;

Get a tattoo, one that means something, one just for shits and giggles.

Bungee Jump

Have a book published

Finish my degree

See the Northern Lights

Learn a language, properly, fluent

volunteer abroad


Better get going then...

On the shelf

It's a bizarre expression, it makes me think of a toy shop, with all the dolls and teddy bear being looked over waiting to be chosen. it's such a fickle thing too, to think of relationships like that too, like your gonna be picked out of a line up and have a wonderful, man that you meet who will sweep you off your feet.

I'm not on the shelf, ugh, I am in the toy box stuffed away with all the broken toys and lost puzzle pieces.

I could do (and have done, many a time) that whole jostling for attention thing in the hope that I land myself a boyfriend. getting stupid drunk, fauning over vaguely attractive men, dancing like a hoochie. Now, sometimes it works, but most of the time, whatever happens, it's not real.

I've kissed a fair few men, on my mission, whilst dressed up like a cross between a wannabe barbie (in the fact that I could have been made from the same mould as thousands of other girls, not that I was blond and wearing tiny elasticated pink dresses) and a hyperactive puppy.

My ex, I knew of him, but didn't really know him before we got together. We were drunk, I even bumped into his mum when going through the front door to perform my walk of shame. There we go, I've admitted it. That night, I know I wasn't jostling for attention or putting myself on show, christ, I don't even think I was dressed to impress, like I had jeans and pumps on. so maybe that's not the same, I don't think I threw myself at him, and we were together for 3 and a half years. I don't know what I'm trying to say.

What I am NOT saying, is that I need a man, I don't neeeeeed one, I just would like one, just like I don't NEED my topshop card, 3 different sets of felt tip pens or half of the clothes in my wardrobe, it's just nice to have them, to wear/spend time with, to think about etc etc, I mean I would expect a bit more from a man, but I can live without one.

The last time I was out with some of my girlies, I vowed that from now on, I'm playing it cool, I want Dates, intellectual conversation and day time, sober, fun.

so..... I guess I just wait for them to start queueing up? like that's gonna happen...

HUMPH

Dear me, A letter to my 16 year old self....

Ok, so,

I've been getting more than my regular fix of magazines of late, you know the sort, the ones you really despise for talking about bikini diets and detox diets and diets that aren't diets and bargain 'capsule' wardrobes that only cost £600 for 3 outfits...

god I love them.

Anyway, back on point.

From time to time they do have quite interesting articles in and in this month's edition there was an article about a new edition of the 'Dear me' book, a collection of letters from celebrities, they had written them to their 16 year old selves, looking back to how things were, brought together by a guy called Joseph Galliano and to help their adolescent self look forward to what will come. (see more about it Dear Me website)

I thought I'd have a go.

me at 16. Dear me....

Fiona,


This is bizarre, I'm trying to write this and I'm not too sure how to address things, as you, me, I, us... just bear with me (or us). I'm writing from the future, at the fine age of 22 3/4.

As I write this, I'm on the way to see Wendy, I've been back in the country for about 3 weeks now and it's almost as weird as the fact that I'm writing to myself. You may have guessed by the fact that I'm going visiting, you will reconnect and actually get on with her, plus she has two beautiful children who call you Aunty Nona.


David also has two wonderful kids. He will also need quite a bit of support, sometimes it'll feel like he's only in contact when he needs something, but be patient.

In a couple of years, you'll give Amanda the sex talk. you'll be brutally honest, I think it does good. she's getting on well.


but back to you, now, you're sixteen and the next two years are gonna be tough, but I'm not going to give everything away, because we've all seen those movies where they change the past and the future f**ks up. plus, who knows how I'll have turned out otherwise!

16 is a good age in general, you'll go to college, those people that interview you, yes, they seem a bit rude, but soon they will realise that you're not a drop out, or a bad student and you don't have a disability. you have a job right now, and you've just done a project which will lead you onto bigger things. Have fun with it, Live Action Role Play eh? running round the woods making up magical stories and characters and mucking about? awesome! you'll also learn to love the outdoors and then you'll find a different kind of love.


That doesn't work out, you will get hurt. know that, but also remember, you are caring, kind and passionate.


This year you will discover your true calling, that is the one true thing that a certain person will tell you when you meet, that you will make a good youth worker. Trust me, you'll love it. 


at 18 you make a decision, a tough one to live with and it will always be with you. shortly after, you will travel for the first time, gosh, if I could ask you to do one thing though, when you take off for the first time, please please please don't scream. you're not going to die, obviously and it really scares people.

If I could give you one more heads up for the near future, it would be to remember who loves you, your family and your friends, you don't need to search for it.eventually you will find love, romantic love, for now, just be patient, respect yourself, you don't need a guy to make you feel worthy or special. We are just fine.  



Take care,


Me, You, Us x

What would you write? 

welcome back

Dear Blog.

Here I am. I’ve abandoned you for the past few weeks, I know. But I’m here now and ready to fill you with all sorts of tripe again.

You see, I’m on a journey, everyone is, but the journey I’m on about, is an actual one, not a metaphor for changes and discovery. I’m off to stay with my DS (dear sister) until the new year.

Again, I am thinking and rethinking and churning over in my mind about the decisions I have made in life, about the direction of my metaphorical journey, the one called life. And about life itself.

I’ve needed a boost these past few weeks, or as they say in my current home town, A right good kick up the A**e, which I think I will get from my dear old sis and being around those little balls of adorable and energy, formally known as my nephew and neice.

I have a job interview, I’m going to be woken up in the morning, There’ll be a dog to walk and kids to entertain, communal meals, and a proper Christmas! I’m so excited!

I remember the first time I did this journey to Lincolnshire, I wrote a list of rules? Reminders? For myself. here.

 A good question to ask would be, have I remembered these? Have they helped?


well, Its been easy to  forget sometimes that 'every day is a new beginning' but then when you remember and put yesterday behind, it's easy. and I still spend money stupidly, I find things to buy, mostly because it excites me to have something that I didnt before, it makes me feel good. so does food. so buying ingredients to make food. awesome! but I still overeat and I still love snacking.
I've written about having had to have been patient, I think I have that one down, for the most part. Loving everyone.... I try. what more can I do?

What would be your set of commandments? 

I love my Blog x 

I miss the sun and the sea

I'm very uninspired at the moment. Hence why I haven't written.

It's silly, all this summer I have been writing and reading blogs, reading books, drawing, taking pictures, thinking, and now, when my day's are less than exciting and certainly not busy, I have nothing. I don't mean that I have nothing, as in nothing at all, but my bank of inspiration, motivation and energy have just been zapped to within an inch of life.

I have become an avid watcher of daytime television. it's a slippery slope, first watching ol' Jezza (jeremy kyle is a chat show host, of sorts, a bit like jerry springer, but not)

Then Loose women (ugh, hate it)

Checking the book of face every 15 minutes.

S lip er ryy Slope.

Tommorow, however, is a new day. I'm going to set my alarm. Tidy my room and finish my photo album from this summer.

Then I'm meeting with a friend from Uni and after, an outing in my 'ho dress.

Onward!

Back in Blighty

One minute, I'm sat in Crete thinking 'ohhhhhh, this summer is just taking sooooo long' 


The next, I'm here, in my front room in England, bewildered at being home, in the cold, jobless, and with a very unhealthy bank account but at the same time, really excited to be at home.


So far i've ticked alot off my to do list for homecoming.

I've baked. (mushroom and pepper quiche, yum!)
I've been to the pub twice.
Spent time with friends.
Had lunch with Nana.
Caught up with some old work friends.
Had a lie in EVERYDAY.


So pretty good really. 


Except one small point...

I feel a little bit like I've gone further backwards than ever before. 


hmm...

I needed to write this.

Frikkin internet is down so I’m blogging

I don’t mean it like, oh, theres nothing else to do.... this is what I mean;

I’ve just made a decision, I’m going back to UNI. I miss it. I actually feel a little bit empty without it. A bit like when you know you’ve not packed a toothbrush when your going away, or you have a sneaking suspicion that somthing isn’t right.

I know it.

Maybe I was a bit foolish not going this September as planned, but hey ho. If I had I wouldn’t be feeling this urge, I need to go back.

I think the time has given me the opportunity to set myself up right. So what, I have perhaps from one perspective wasted a little bit of time, but hey, what’s a year? I’ve been reading, I’ve been thinking, reflecting, and jesus, I feel like I could go and write three whole essays on anything and everything.

This could be linked to the effort I’ve made tonight, treated myself. I’ve been for the first run in about a year (and after putting on about a stone since my last) and then swam and then, I did a face mask and read. I feel GOOOOOOD.

So I’m a bit frustrated because I the internet isn’t enabling my begging emails to Ms Torrence and also to the boss so that I can leave next season early. I just want to DO. SOMETHING. I’m at a very uncertain point right now and to know that I have made at least one decision about the not to distant future is great, but I want to act on it. I shall just have to wait. And read.

So my current book, which I LOVE (!) is Emotional Intelligence: why it can matter more than IQ (by Daniel Groleman (I keep going to write Dave Grohl, ha)

The two chapters so far that have really... Moved (?) me are Mind and Medicine and The Family Crucible. The first one, really relates to my feelings toward the work I did with the hospital and with the mental health service, or really the work I wanted to do I suppose.

 It’s like he’s written my mind for me, aside from the actual scientific stuff that I would never have discovered. He describes and proves the link between emotions and the Immune system, the impact our emotions have on health and then the impact emotions have on recovery from ill health.

One bit that I find soo scary, but really interesting, is the possibility of Anger and hostility causing heart disease leading to heart attacks. Woah. How many kids do we see who are hostile and angry (with just cause) in youth work. Obviously they need help to sort out whatever is going on with them, but just think how important it actually is, to help them work through their anger and deal with it.

Then in the family chapter, I feel a bit sad (and maybe if some of my family read this they may dislike what I’m going to talk about, but hey, it’s my blog)

I won’t go through what it talks about but I had to put the book down, I was just thinking.... S**T, the boys are actually going to be really affected by this, and they totally are, you can see it. Not just because of the obvious break up and stress, but because of the emotional issues and then the pressure on them to live up to the male stereo type. (If you are reading this, beware, I am not judging, I have never attempted to bring up a child and I am never, will never lecture you on how you should bring up yours)

[Earlier in the book, I was comparing myself to the people they describe as having no emotion = Zero empathy = psychopath (it doesn’t read exactly like that...) and I got a bit worried, because I find it difficult to show emotion. I’m not worried now though, I totally want to cry]

So yeah.

I love my book.

I want to go back to study sooner than I expected.

I think I only want to do it part time.

I still don’t have a job when I get home.

But today has been a good day.

Totally just finished my first season.

x

Being accident prone is no joke.

Coincidentally, I write this on a, so far, accident free day.

So for as long as I can remember I have built up a catalog of little accidents, mishaps, calamities and f**k ups. I don't know why, I just always have been a little bit prone to both minor injuries and making a tit out of myself. 

and at the grand age of 22, I'm getting a little bit bored of it.

I've created a list of little accidents that have happened since I flew to better climates in May

• The first day of work, I slipped down the steps in the pool and had bruised shins for three weeks.
• I also had a swollen right foot for a few weeks too. un explained but frikkin painful.
• I cut and scraped my leg climbing a tree on more than one occasion.
• cut open my knee climbing up a wall.
• I have a third degree burn-scar on my right inside ankle from burning on the exhaust of a motor bike.
• I slipped down some steps when I got out of the shower one day. my foot swelled up and my little tow went purple, couldnt really walk either...
• I bruised and scraped my knees and shins climbing some rocks...
• I always bashed my head off the window on the bus, just trying to see that little bit further...
• Bought some new flip flops after breaking three pairs, and slipped over in them about 6 times in one week.
• I had a fight with a sun lounger and bashed my nose in.
• last week I headbutted the roof of the minibus when I got in on the way to babysit
• three nights ago I stepped into the van and slipped straight out again. (of the van that is, oversharing/exposure is another one of my many faults, but it didnt happen this time)
• last night I was over gesticulating and bashed my Elbow off the door in the van again. It wasn't even a good story. 

And that's just when I'm SOBER!

I think I'm still feeling that Gangly stage, you know the one we all get when we're a teenager and your body parts grow at different speeds. I remember being about 14 and my legs being massively out of proportion to the rest of me, in length that is, I just didn't know what to do with myself. I wasn't leggy like you'd describe say.... 'ooh that leggy blonde' but I did feel like my legs didn't stop til my armpits. I'm in a better proportion now, well at least the rest of me has grown outwards, but I'm still walking around and bumping into things and tripping over, like the 14 year old gangly geek I was. 

Blogging for Blog sake

Bit of an awkward moment there.....


A parent of one of the children I'm babysitting just noticed that I'm on Blogger while I sit outside and wait for them to leave and asked 'so what do you write about?' 


well.....  so now he probably thinks I Blog/ bitch about the people I work for.... hmm, awkward. 


Dearest stallion discovered my site also, recently. 


when people discover you Blog, they always seem to want to know what you're saying about them. 


Not that I write about anyone in particular, and if I do, I don't to put names or write anything detrimental.


So now I'm really getting into it, and people are reading it, I only have 10 *followers* I know there are people who check in regularly and read what's going on in  my world. I like that people read it, but I like that it's personal, and separate. I'd rather people read it, than me explain or tell them what it's about. it's not a secret, but I write it because it's easier to write out some of your crazy than let it slip into conversation. 


I hope my writing is a bit of everything, it's just me, chirpy and light hearted most of the time but with a layer of deep thought and hope and wanting with the occasional slice of nuttiness thrown in for good measure.


So, dearest reader, How do I tell people to read it without sounding grumpy, rude or that I'm trying to boost my view count? 


That's what's on my mind. read it, enjoy it/ don't, make conversation about it, comment. your will is your own, my blog is for reading. 


Lots of Love


Me x

brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

For the first time in a long while, I don’t actually know what to write. I just think that I need to.

So this is going to be a bit of an adventure maybe.

At first I was thinking I should tell you about a thought I had, following on from the theme of some of my other posts. To start with, there are two places, aside from exotic or exhilarating landscapes that really prompt me to start thinking. The first, of course, is the toilet. I have actually on occasion gone and sat on the loo, just to help me think or remember something. It used to be as a distraction, i.e. from work, studying, being told off.


The second is 36,000 feet in the air. It doesn’t have to be 36,000 exactly, but it helps.

It’s a weird place to be. Suspended in mid air, surrounded by strangers and strange people, nothing to look at but the backs of people’s heads and the inflight magazine or safety card. It’s like.... nothing. Nowhere?

Anyway back to my thought, which at the time was quite exciting, for me anyway. Maybe, just maybe I should listen to people and Maybe, Perhaps, teaching could be something I could get into. Not yet, I’m still in full on drift mode (although potentially being unemployed in..... less than three weeks is more than daunting) but I could so work in one of them Pupil referral units, the one’s where kids go when they’re in trouble or not getting on in school. I think that’d be cool. Hard work (for sure) but cool.

So that was my thought. But really, in my drifting style, I need to think of now.

I’m applying for jobs everywhere, bars, shops, and restaurants in both Grantham and Blackpool. I cannot begin to imagine how it feels to be out of work for a long time. It’ll be fine though. I just need to find something, anything, to tide me over.

So what else am I pin balling, I hear you ask. Well,

Cooking and how freakin amazing it feels to COOK again. Ahh! Our apartment has a bit of a kitchen you see. Nothing special, but oh my, it’s nice. I’m going to make a cake. I’ve already made butternut squash risotto, a courgette bake thing and my new invention, Lazy Soup. 


Lazy soup has all the qualities of normal, hearty homemade soup, but is especially for the lazy or pushed for time among us.

Here is a rough idea of a lazy soup. More of instructions than recipe.

Find fresh vegetables (I say fresh, I used partly dried out squash, floppy carrots and half a broccoli)

Chop roughly

Put water in a saucepan onto boil. Add an onion, stock cube and seasoning.

Boil vegetables for as long as you have (ideally they would be fully cooked.)

Blend and serve.

YUM.

I’m going to be searching my blog reading list for a good simple chocolate cake to bake on a budget. Once I get on the net that is. Roll on nap time at the crèche.

too awake to sleep

Just a quick one.

• ·         I really can’t speak Spanish
• ·         I can sleep ALOT
• ·         Never float aimlessly around oddly shaped pools
• ·         The following people think that ‘Blogging’ is code for something sexual; HRH golden Gorilla, Pam, Amy and Nat.
• ·         Cut on your forehead? Fringe it is!
• ·         Where do pirates drink? – in a B-ARGHHH

I may or may not have vommed down the side of a taxi.

the last 72 hours

[sat in BucksStar, Putney, London; enjoying coffee and not enjoying a cardboard pot of porridge]

The last 72 + hours have been manic! I swear!

Friday I left Crete, I didnt actually think I'd make it, but I did. I swear I have not had so much drama in a long time. Thursday night I said goodbye to my Diosce cove friends and also to a friend I made called Sam. So we went for a beer on the beach, it was supposed to be in a bar, but I got sad and my knee escaped through a massive hole in my jeans, thus exposing 3 quaters of my left leg, and leaving me feeling like a tramp. So to the beach we go, beer in hand and Its a lovely night, sat there, talking, the stars shining and reflecting off the sea, so then I hear a noise behind me, so I turn round to investigate..... and BAM! Nose versus Sun lounger. the back of the chair flips up and hits me square in the nose in a feat worthy of 'You've Been Framed' Sunlounger 1 - Nose 0. thankfully it's not broken, just a wee bit bruised and sore.

So far, not so good.

Friday morning, I wait for the taxi to take me to the airport, as arranged with the hotel, 11am comes, 11:15, swiftly flys by, still no taxi, so I run around, nearly crying (I cant actually cry) trying to find a phone, and make friends with a lovely young greek man and his dogs, who nearly ate me while I sat in his front garden. turns out the taxi hasnt been ordered after all. Shoot! my flight leaves at 1:50....

The taxi came at last and I arrive with ten minutes before check in closes, but the taxi driver, love him, turns to me and says 70 euro please.... AHHHH! So I get a little angry and phone the hotel and wait for them to ring back. squeaky bum time! it's ok though.

Check in - 3 kilo overweight (the bag that is) thank god for the lovely Greek Amy Winehouse lookalike on the desk. she lets me off.

oh my, the plane, full of screaming babies and my nail varnish explodes, ALL OVER MY BAG and neighbouring passengers.

so finally, I arrive, purple handed at Gatwick, but as soon as I get my luggage, the wheels come off. roll on 8 hours travel dragging an overweight suitcase with no wheels.

It's been lovely to be home, be it all very brief. I spent time with my family and friends, had a traditional boozy lunch with my Nan and then set off again down to London last night. (Thankyou to Tash for buying me lunch and entertaining me for hours in the pub, and for dropping me off at the bus station)

so, now, not so fresh after an 8 hour coach journey and an hour and a half on the bus, I'm on my third coffee, I'm not going to sleep for a long time I feel.

oh well. Marbs here I come! Watch out PB.. Fiona's about.

Love to you all x

Patience is virtue, virtue is grace....

....and Grace is the little girl that wouldn't wash her face. Well I don't know who Grace but I'm sure she learnt her lesson in the end.

one of my biggest attributes, I think, is patience.

You have to be patient to work with children, you have to be patient to work with people, right? So, patient I am. Very patient.

For me, there is nothing better than the look on a kids face when you've sat and listened to him tell you all about the beach. Even though you know that same beach like the back of your hand. Even though you've also touched on subjects such as his mum's allergies and his teddy bear's favourite food, halfway through the beach story. Even though you needed to wee about 20 minutes ago, before his story started and you know that you have a cup of tea waiting for you if you could. just. end. this. story (!)

Patience...

When it takes 20 minutes to load one page so you can check your emails.

From another friend when you're in another country and can't chat and talk like we would usually. (x thank you)

Because someone who's on your mind, is trying to keep you off theirs.

When talking to that person who's on your mind is like doing a foxtrot, (quick, slow, quick, quick, slow...)

When maybe you disagree with someone you have to spend a lot of time with.

When you have three days left before you can go home and spend a few hours with your family.



Patience...

“If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking.” (Buddhist proverb)

You cant piss on my bonfire, rain on my parade or even put a dampner on my day!

Ahh, just sent an empty post then. Silly me.

I'm so excited, I have 6 days left and even though there's issues, I don't care, nothing can get me down.

I'm on skype to stallion as we speak, ahhhh, he is a verrrrry nice man. and and and, I started sketching, like I used to do it a bit when I was 16 ish but now I can actually do it and it looks half decent. what do you think?

I probably look like I'm attention seeking, I put them on face book, but putting them on the computer kind of helps me see where I've gone wrong and compare them to photos and things. so this man here ^^ isn't perfect, everytime I look I can see bits i need to run out and draw again, but they're not too bad are they, eh?

x 

Homecoming....

Found this, a caricature of me, done almost 5 years ago!

I'm coming home early :-)


Dont worry, I haven't been fired, lost my job, or quit, I just got the opportunity to come home, So I am, YAY and I am soooo excited. 


So Instead of 5 weeks to go I have 8 days left before I can see my beautiful friends and family...


for 2 days. 


And then, I'm off working in Marbella for 3 weeks! ah! I'll be working as a creche assistant in this AMAZING hotel which even has a golf course. Beyond happy at the moment. 


So it's gonna be a whirlwind visit home, infact, I'll be spending more time travelling than anything else. 


I realised I've not written much about being here, apart from complaining. 


I have had a good time, a stressful time for the most but, it's been good. 


some of my favourite memories include spending time with Alisha, Aimee and the girls from Diosce cove and getting up to mischief on nights out. I regularly frequent the bar, as in dancing on it, and on a couple of occasions, thrown up on myself. 


I loved going to our favourite resturant, the Ferryman Taverna, I always got that feeling of relief when I sat down and started smelling and seeing the food that was loaded onto our table. 


The beach has been my second home, I've learnt to sit still and sunbathe and I manage just about, to swim in the sea, if I cant see the fish. 


I've not lost any weight, if i have, I've put it straight back on with my huge plates of Tsatziki and pitta, My hair has gone a bit ginger, from where I dyed it red and the suns bleached it. 


Cant wait to make some more friends and memories in Marb's.


Love you x 

It's raining!

Never Ever been as excited to see and feel rain in my life. after 4 months of baking hot heat (which has been incredible, dont get me wrong) it feels amazing!

Me and 'Lisha are wWalking round Agios with massive grins on our face while everyone runs for cover.

Although my tan had better not start fading...

 Just thought I'd share that :-)

Seven weeks to go and seven things I've learnt

One of my first posts on here was counting down the days til my departure to Crete. that feels like absolute years ago, it was only like 17 weeks in reality.

So... I wonder whether people will think I've changed when I get back? for sure I have chilled out a bit, I've met lots of interesting people, and some not so interesting, I've got a great tan, I have a job lined up for next summer and I have a winter full of loose plans and lots of opportunity. I'm pretty excited.

I have had quite a few days off recently, mainly because we didn't get much chance when it was busy, It's been quiet (mainly because I spent all my money about 4 days after pay day) but nice to just chill out, catch some sun and read a few books and think about the future. 

Ioannis, the caretaker at our apartments says that I should become a teacher, travel around Greece and then settle in a white washed villa somewhere with a nice Greek man. sounds good, aside from the teaching bit. I could never do formal teaching in a school, I have respect for people who do and wish anyone who wants to in the future the best of luck, I've met student teachers who are buzzing full of ideas and passion for teaching and then as soon as they hit placement, boom, it's gone and you see them realise what they actually have to do, It's all about the curriculum and exams and health and safety and being PC without any adventure or exploring of what interests kids. 

Youth work is like teaching though, my dearest mother taught me brilliantly and helped me discover at a young age that everyone is a teacher and our schooling isn't just 9 til 3; 5 days a week. we're learning alllll the time. Like, when I was doing my sexual health training the lady told us that she's taught people who have been married for 30 odd years how to put condoms on properly and they've not known all the facts and things that they should be passing on. Did you know that Ejaculation happens at a speed of around 30 MPH? (appx 48 KPH)

So some things that I've learnt over these last 4 months

• I need a hobby. seriously, I need to discover a talent or something, you can't just work all the time (or in my case, work, go out, work, go out, sunbathe) the people I've met not just recently, they're all so damned talented and interesting, who knows, I could make a good photographer, dancer or artist, whatever, I've just never really tried.
• I know what I want to do for the most part of my life. sorted. But just because I know doesn't mean I have to do it now. or continuously.
• I am twenty two. Although at times I feel older and I have my moments when I act more mature, I'm still pretty young, I have a lot of life to live.
• We should all learn to use the delete button on our facebook 'friends' list. Oh and don't feel the need to add everyone you've ever met.
• When you meet someone, you don't need to know every single thing about them, and they don't need to know every thing about you either. getting to know people isn't a race.
• I am not pretty. Stop there, don't be thinking I have self esteem issues,It's not necessarily a bad thing, I'm just not, but if I make a bit of effort I can look half decent and a smile and a laugh goes a long way.
• Blow your own trumpet, no one else will do it for you. If you can't spot a few good things about yourself then others wont even bother looking. I.e. I am good at writing. I may be good at fiction writing, I don't know, but I love writing my Blog. 

Love you.Fi  x